I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
