So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
