PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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