I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
