Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
