guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
home. puking in laundry basket.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
