I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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