HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish you could order shots online.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
