I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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