i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
