question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Be still, my beating vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
