it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
