he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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