I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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