if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
