All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize