$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
