yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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