he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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