My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
