i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think my vagina is haunted
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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