just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
