You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
