Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
