its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize