Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
