New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
