Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize