Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
