im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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