so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
