I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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