Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
