he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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