Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
