MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
