So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
