Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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