she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
