I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
