The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
