I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
