ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
