u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
