he thought i was a dude.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
