There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
