Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
