I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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