I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize