Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
