i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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