smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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