i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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