hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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