I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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