I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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