u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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