You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
