I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
