I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's never too late to be topless.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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