i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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