I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
