Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
