Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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