I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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