If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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