i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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