this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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