he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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