very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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