capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
