Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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