if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
