he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
