Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
