it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize