I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think my moral compass just broke
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
